Silly Excels. You know how when you’re mad, you’d start slamming at the keyboards if it happens to be in front of you. This post is an experiment I did one time when I recorded what was typed:

ksdlajfawejdvsncjll/kjdnvjl/s;djndvzsdndvlmnsdjvksdafclm.nsdjj.kvlzm.dnskjfscn.kjsdancmds;alkfjcielkmjio;walkjioaj;jdklsealkjdsoiweafjhkldn;lasnv,jfh;pw[eairoeifjancdksal;kdpweoa;klkfdmcka;jfoiewajfkl[wpqoipr[qpowke;aldskcjfoaeifnveroakl;fjma;lksdmjfqoiw;elakdskfiowqerhjnaflksd;alkdefjewoia;ef;;easefawjfa[spdzlcjknmal,.sdfkoeiwja;lkjsdfjm;aslkdnfowepa’odkpwjfenkajsdvdm,zvnalk;dfjoiew;aklf;kp[wqfjkladsmc,.feajfkldsm,cfa;weoifja;lksdjfa;lwiejfsadfwefasdjfl;kdsajfeiowuahfegquyregwoqrhewqijfkdnsmz,xncmzc,nv.ds,mf;oeiqrkfoeiruf[peao’d;klfjvn;sdlfkfaioewajlkds;fasdknfm,.asejrioqweifals;kdfjs;afoh;uajklsfjew;’alkjfd;hoiweaifha;;;jklwejafioe;alkwfsdoieujkadnsfl;weaolkfhvbeuaoiw;lkpow[aifjsdhvnjkad.nvbak;lefjqiowetgfjerakl;dsfjo;weakldfj;aklsdsfdwevgrafkldjshgoiewpra;fkldsjhgiopwe;ljkajfhgiort’eak;lfdsnvlw;erioquwpoetfkjaldsnclf;weihrfowq;ealkfjsdnqw;eaiofja;wlksfjdncklfwejrfiowae;kleaip.

My monkey brain followed, so I set up an excel function to count the occurrence of each letter, and unsurprisingly, the top 5 are a, d, f, j, l — which are pretty much those in the middle lane of the keyboard. A theory could be that since your fingers are pretty much conditioned to position there for QWERTY keyboards, you’re more likely to press those keys, even when randomly does so. But again, no such thing as random.

Function Example: len(B2)-len(substitute(B2,”a”,””))